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There are a number of wonderful guides for getting the most out of attending the RSA security conference.  SpaceRogue and Violet Blue have written two that come to mind.  Here’s my take on the event thus far…

 

1. In keeping with all of my previous tradition, I am religiously avoiding the Moscone center with all of my might.  I haven’t been within 4 blocks of it this year.  That’s nothing in comparison to previous years, where I would travel to other cities or even other countries so as to celebrate being as far from the RSA conference as possible.  I’m not doing quite as well this year, having flown into the San Francisco for BSides, but I’m still earning my gold star and free pencil.

 

2. I started my morning walking around town, checking out the quaint trolleys and enjoying the city.  I don’t think I could ever live here (or anywhere in California, your nutty politics are a bridge too far) but it’s wonderful to have an excuse to visit.

 

3. I basked in the lovely weather.  I sat in a city park and got stoned.  Then I bought far too many hot dogs from a local vendor.  Even while elevated, I managed to remain as low-carb as possible… enjoying only one of these bread-borne encased meat logs.  The rest went to local transients who always have the best stories and are interesting conversationalists.

 

4. I wandered back to the hotel, then prepared some steaks for in-room sous vide cooking.  With the meat and veg coming to temperature in the hot pot, I soaked in the hot tub.

 

5. The steaks and the such are close to ready.  While the rest of you are up to your eyeballs in bright colors, badly-suited hairdos fluent in douche-speak, and Cyber Cyber Cyber, i’m in a heavenly bed staying still enough to not tip over my wine glass while watching a downloaded episode of Murder She Wrote.

 

I think I’ve got this whole RSA thing on fucking lock.

 

I’ll see all of you over drinks and such in the evenings.  Friends and camaraderie… that’s what this event (or any big-dollar con, frankly) should be about.  If you can master that part, you’ll do just fine.

 

 

6 Comments

  1. I find it wonderfully ironic that you’re in San Francisco and this post is number 666…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loAOqd6Yn0s

    You should go to the SFO Embassy suites and see if you can get stuck in the elevator like I did.

    • Heh, I’d love to hear more about that. How’d you eventually get out?

      • They turned it off and on again, I put video of it on twitter and tagged you and Howard Payne and basically said you guys taught me to just relax in that kind of situation (saw you two give the elevator talk at CarolinaCon).

        Got 50K HH points for a 10 minute inconvenience so I can’t complain too much.

      • As to HOW it got stuck, I think that there was an issue with the winch and the position sensor not being in agreement, it was OOC the rest of the day.


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